a ritual for my mother.

This is an imaginary ritual. One that I know will never happen. But in writing it, perhaps I give wings to the possibility that someone, somewhere has had a glimpse into another world and they saw themselves as they really are.

For my mother, who constantly struggles to see her own light, and forgets far too often to recognize how beautiful she can be.

Ritual supplies (ideally):
A basin of water, large enough to emerge in. (This is imaginary so I choose to live romantically.. I see a claw-foot porcelain tub filled with steaming hot water.)
Cleansing and purifying herbs of your choice. (For this ritual I’m using rose petals.)
Sage.
Rose water or some other anointing oil or water.
A crown, made of whatever you like. Could be man or nature made.
Ritual garb or your bare skin.
A large bonfire.
A grove of trees. I visualize Aspens in the height of summer. Dancing in a cool breeze.
Pre-dawn. With a dark moon right before she waxes.

Light your fire to roaring flames. Throw in the sage. Soak naked in the water bath singing the chant, “Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath and fire my spirit.” Begin softly and allow your voice to carry through the forest as you carry the energy for the ritual through out the grove, cleansing not only your body but your ritual space. Mediate on your body becoming pure light, melding with the earth the sky the fire the water, becoming one and the same.

When you know that, emerge from the water, bare feet touching the earth. Garb yourself or remain nude. Lift your arms towards heaven. When you feel the vibration of Spirit as you, sing while dancing around the grove: “We are one, round round round. We are one cashing sacred ground round round.” Over and over until you know your circle is cast.

Move to the fire. With open arms shout!:
“I am here. I am open. I am the Way.
I know now that I am what I’ve always been.
Goddess Incarnate. Walking magic.”

Hold up the oil or water:
“Bless this liquid as it absorbs into my body, fill it with the charge of Earth (touch the ground), Air (breathe on it), Fire (toward the flame), Water (sprinkle it with bath water), and Spirit (raise it to heaven) as a promise that they will live in me, as me. Circulating through my physical body and my ethereal body reminding me that I am alive with magic.”

With the oil touch all the chakra points and then rub it into the palms ad the tops of feet (because the bottoms are all dirty:))

Lift the Crown.
“Bless this Crown.” (Repeat previous blessing with elements), Place on head… “as a promise that it shall be a reminder that I am a Queen of Heaven and Earth. That I am Sacred and I walk Sacred Ground. That I am Goddess. I see Goddess in my work and in the eyes of those that I meets. And that though the physical Crown shall leave, the real crown shall remain always. I need only close my eyes to see.”

“As above so below. As within so without. So mote it be!”

Stay in this place as long as you like.
Douse your fire. Drain your water to the Earth. Leave only footprints and sacred energy, and carry the magic with you.

prayer for release

I performed a ritual at my yoga studio during the waxing quarter moon. The waxing moon benefits growth and increase but the purpose of my ritual was for clarification and peace.

My studio is in a state of transition as my body is in a state of transition as our life is in a state of transition. What I needed was a sense of peace to let go and give it up to Spirit. It as in decisions, worry, grief, etc. The moon happened to be waxing so I had to adjust my intent. My intention was an invitation to my purpose.

I wish I had some pictures to share, especially being that it’s been so long since I’ve posted a blog with any content. But my cameras broken :(. I might find some related images on the net to share.

My rituals are often much simpler than this one. For instance, I usually don’t even cast a circle. But I was following an outline by Diane Stein and so changed my format a bit. Variety is good for the soul.

The entire studio was purified with sage and cleared with a singing bowl. I set up a Labyrinth in the center of the room made of tea lights and lit these before I cast my circle. I used amber incense for casting, as amber is excellent for clarity. Circling the area 3x I directed the smoke from the incense first low, then waist-high, and finally above my head.

I cast this Circle, not for protection, as I know I am protected in this sacred space. I cast this Circle to contain and heighten the energy to focus my will and clarify my intention. I cast this Circle for purity of purpose. I cast this Circle as an offering to Spirit to hold the sacred energy of manifestation.

I set the incense on the altar and took up a bowl of water.

Sacred element of water, I call upon you and ask that you be present during this ritual to aid my magic with your purification. I seek your constant flow to balance emotion. I ask that you be here now.

I lit a floating candle on the water.

Transformational fire, I call upon you and ask that you be present during this ritual to aid my magic with your power. I seek your burning flame to cut through barriers that may be holding me back. I ask that you be here now.

I blew my breath lightly over them both.

Winds of change, I call upon you and ask that you be present during this ritual to aid my magic with your lightness of being. I seek your cool breeze as a reminder that this too shall pass. I ask that you be here now.

I sprinkled sand in the bowl.

Solid earth. I call upon you and ask that you be present during this ritual to aid my magic with your stability. I seek your strength to be prepared for whatever comes. I ask that you be here now.

There was no rhyme or reason for the order of my callings. I simply did what came to me at the time.

Calling on the maiden and the moon.

I invoke thee, Great Spirit, maiden goddess. I seek your innocence and your purity. I seek these tempered as they are with wisdom. I seek your action and your potential.

I call upon the powers of the waxing moon. That time of increase, creativity, and manifestation. I seek your increasing strength for the purpose of this ritual.

Even this miniature version holds such depth, don't you think?

I walked the Labyrinth as the main body of my ritual, having placed a picture of the full moon at the mouth, symbolizing the completion of the journey and the point of knowing. I sought for my peace by the rise of full moon. As I walked, I spoke these words:

As the moon waxes and continues to grow with light, so do I become clearer in thought and direction. As the moon continues to grow with light becoming round and full in its power, so is my spirit full with contentment and peace. The moon growing in its power is me growing in my power. The moon growing to completion is this process coming to completion. The moon growing to its fullest clarity is me growing to my fullest clarity. When the moon shines bright and full in the sky I will know the studios future and have complete clarity and peace.

At the end of my walk I performed a self blessing with rosewater, for self-love and compassion. I used the blessing from Stein’s book, Casting the Circle, with only a few changes and then used a slightly adapted chant for raising energy.

*New moon rising. Shining, shining. Growing, ripening. Magic is happening.

*On a side note, I think this could be a really powerful chant if sung in a group, with each participant singing different parts at the same time, as the chant grows in length.

I always ground in child’s pose as my root, hands, and third eye center all rest on the earth.

Maiden Spirit and waxing moon, I thank you for your presence in my ritual. I open a pathway for your release. Spirits of water, fire, air and earth, I thank you for your presence here and your aid in my magical work. I open a pathway for your release. My Circle is open. So mote it be.

I’m recording this after the event, of course. Tomorrow is the full moon, and quite the extraordinary one I’ve read. I’ve already felt since the ritual a release of sorts. Though still heavy in my heart, a sense of calm and letting go is underway.

With the equinox just the day following, perhaps all of this will clear the way for bright beginnings.

untitled sharing

2 poems, by Nancy Wood.

My help is in the mountain
where I take myself to heal
the earthly wounds
that people give to me.
I find a rock with sun on it.
And a stream where the water runs gentle.
And the trees which one by one give me company.
So must I stay for a long time
until I have grown from the rock
and the stream is running through me
and I cannot tell myself from one tall tree.
Then I know that nothing touches me
nor makes me run away.
My help is in the mountain
that I take away with me.

Earth cure me. Earth receive my woe. Rock strengthen
me. Rock receive my weakness. Rain wash my sadness
away. Rain receive my doubt. Sun make sweet my song.
Sun receive the anger from my heart.

****************************************************

To know the Earth on a first-name basis
you must know the meaning of river stones first.
Find a place that calls to you and there
lie face down in the grass until you feel
each plant alive with the mystery of beginnings.
Move in a circle until you discover an insect
crawling with knowledge in its heart.
Examine a newborn leaf and find a map of a universe
so vast that only Eagles understand.
Observe the journey of an ant and imitate its path
of persistence in a world of bigger things.
Borrow a cloud and drift high above the Earth,
looking down at the smallness of your life.
The journey begins on a path made of your old mistakes.
The journey continues when you call the Earth by name.

calm & centered

I was rushing today.

I should have had plenty of time. But the ornery teenager that wouldn’t answer her cell phone (same said child that I sing praises of, yes.) and the fact that my favorite skirt got caught on the handle of the credenza as I was rushing by and therefore ripped a good portion of it all the way up my leg, rather cut the minutes down to zip. Having no time to cry like a baby, I merely gasped, frantic now, and ran to change. Said child would still not answer her phone. My stress level was on the edge of collapse. I was out of time. I hurried to my jewelry box, grabbed some amethyst earrings and an amethyst pendant and ran out the door.

I got a hold of the child, (who of course, feigned innocence ~ ‘what mom? the phone was in my back pocket, I didn’t hear it!’), made it to work only 2 minutes late due to my record setting race car driving skills, and texted my husband about my miserable afternoon. Then, I changed my earrings and switched out my pendant.

I felt the balancing effects immediately. Not like, oh yes! Bliss! but a soft sort of calm began to take over. So I took a deep breath and allowed the stone to work its magic.

I have always had an affinity for amethyst. And serendipitously so, it happens to be the stone I’m working with this week as part of my Path training. Perfectly fitted, as it’s a stone of receptivity and wisdom, and we just entered the 3rd quarter and a waning cycle of the moon.

Just holding an amethyst piece in my hand gives me a sense of peace and calm.

Other qualities of this wonderful crystal (by no means complete):

*powerful and protective

*guards against psychic attack~ transmutes negative energy to love

*high spiritual vibration

*enhances meditation/higher states of consciousness

*healer and cleanser

*opens intuition and enhances psychic gifts

*drives off insomnia and nightmares~good for prophetic dreams

Mostly when I think of amethyst I think of balance. Balance of the mind, body and spirit. So any time you feel unsettled emotionally or mentally, wear or carry an amethyst (preferably cleansed and charged). This also applies for physical conditions such as headaches, tension, and so many other physical ailments that occur when the body is out of balance. Of course, always trust your intuition (and your doctor if that’s your thing). I am not prescribing or diagnosing here. Just sharing my thoughts. Take them as you will.

On a different note, I did not hold ritual last night on the moon. I did not even go outside to see her. My husband came home from being away for a couple of days and I was distracted. Remembering later on as I lay in bed, I connected to her energies through time and space letting any guilt slip away for not celebrating in some physical way. Visiting a kindred soul’s blog0sphere, I was inspired by her simple yet beautiful post, which allowed me to connect with mama moon yet again. Thanks, M.

of babies and blunders

Of babies…

children = love

We celebrated Litha today with my friend Jen’s circle. It was a quaint little gathering, more children than adults. It got me dreaming about  my own little one running around. By the time there is once again a seed in my belly all these lil ones could be Daisy’s age. No… I’d say in the next two years we’ll be pregnant. My husband is finally confident with the idea. Beautiful man. He’s already such a good daddy. I’ve really latched on to the idea of making babies with him.

Of circle blunders…

the elements

I was asked last minute to call a corner and Jen knowing my directional issues allowed me to have my choice of South or West, so I stood west and called water. All was well through ritual. During closing I was in the spirit of the process I guess, and so had a little blunder. We were moving widdershins releasing the elements and after earth was dismissed, I began my farewell ~ only it wasn’t my turn. Though I don’t embarrass easily I still felt lightly pink in the cheeks My sweet Laurabell probably thought I was talking over her when really I was just moving in my traditional direction. Whoops.

31 and 13

Tomorrow is my birthday. I’ll be 31. I came to work today with thoughts in mind to journal about soul searching kind of stuff, you know.

It is still that… but deeper now. Deeper than soul searching? Well, sorta.

My daughter called me. She got her cycle.

And now the tears come as I write the words. They didn’t come as she spoke the words, for then I was trying to hold it together enough to make sure she was okay, that she had what she needed, and to accept the fact that I was at work, not at home where I could hug her. Oh my sweet little baby. Starting the maiden voyage.

Last night around midnight, she called me into her room with a worried tone. Instantly I thought period. When I got there she was crying, way overtired. A spider on her wall.

What is it that grandmother spider teaches us about the web of life?

And today, today she bleeds. Just over 2 months into her 13th year as my daughter.

Everything happens in its own perfect timing, yes? Yes.

I came to work today with a task in mind of setting intentions for a spiritual journey. Developing a course for my own growth to cover a years time. I claim no title for my spiritual path. None but Witch. I claim no god. None but Spirit, which encompasses all. So it is difficult for me to follow specific books that fall in similar lines. I work with bits and pieces. So I guess it makes the most sense to create my own outline. What I want is structure. Something I can follow.

My gemini nature has been fed well lately. I’ve been incredibly busy with work. Work being the retail store, yoga classes, and custom made fairy tale. I do best with multiple functions. So can I create a structured spiritual quest for myself? Lessons and goals? Can I travel my Path with more attention and intention.

Well, there’s only one way to find out. And that’s to just do it.

My idea is to set up a schedule for myself, to be traveled with over the course of a years time. I will have weekly goals, biweekly goals, and monthly goals. And I don’t know if goals is the right word to use, nor is tasks. Hmm… lessons, events, assignments, journeys, steps? Footsteps. Footsteps? I like it.

Footsteps to Cobblestones to Landmarks, traveling the Path toward the wise woman and witch that I long to be.

So what do I want? And what are the steps that will take me there?

I will write what it is that I want, as if I already am. And in most cases, I am already this thing. But I want to do it better, with greater intention, love and wisdom.

1. I am a healer and nurturer. A wise woman with many sources for her craft. I heal with hands, with herbs, with stones, with essence and magic. I have great knowledge for these things.

2. I am a mother and wife. I share divinity and wisdom with my child and partner and therefore help them see there own divinity and wisdom. It is important for them to know how much I love them, without question.

3. I am an artist, and the art that I create inspires me and reminds me of my Path.

4. I am a yogini. It is a step on my Path to magic and divinity.

5. I am a teacher and that which I teach flows out naturally to those that seek what I have to offer.

6. I am a Priestess. I am a vessel of the Divine.

So in the moment, these are the thoughts that come to me, and these are some of the things I need to program in.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Friday is a waxing 1/2 moon, and the Solstice is just around the corner on the 21st. I am 31 years old and my 13 year old daughter just got her moon cycle.

The universal timing could not be more perfect, I’m sure.

mother and moon maiden on the eve of my birthday

and then there were five

Once there was a little penguin… who was actually not a penguin at all.

Recently my lil family decided to take on additions. We’d been thinking on it for awhile. Working on becoming a little more self sufficient one step at a time.

We love eggs and spend the extra $$ to buy free range and organic. So a logical step on our path was chickens.

My husband’s aunt let us borrow City Chicks, and my husband, being the book man he is completely devoured it. He researched the specific breeds and chose 3 different kinds to welcome to our abode. Even before they came, we knew they would make an impact. My husband build a brooder, took special care in selecting food and bedding, and then we patiently waited for our new little friends to arrive.

That is what they were really, our friends. We discussed the fates of our friends, and knew without question that once they grew past their egg laying stage, they would continue to frolic until they died of old age. Then they would get a proper burial and farewell just as any good friend should.

They arrived! And oh, what a brilliant lil mother hen my beloved husband was. My daughter named all 6 of them, one of them being Penguin. Sweet little Penguin. At first it was hard to tell that she wasn’t quite keeping up with the rest of them. Baby chicks grow fast though, and while the others were getting their tail feathers and stretching their wings, Penguin was sleeping a lot and rather squat in her appearance.

We got probiotics, put colloidal silver in her water and gave her extra attention and love.

They were born Wednesday, arrived Friday, and lil Penguin left us today.

This morning, my husband got out his Reiki plate and held Penguin to his heart as he lay against it. He prayed over that sweet little chicken. Later, he told me tearfully that he felt Penguin telling him it was almost time.

One week. Barely. And she had reached into our hearts with her soft little feathers and sweet spirit.

Niko came in to hold her and massage her belly. She was dehydrated and I dipped her beak in the water dish. As he held her and prayed with her, her little spirit departed her body and my husband sobbed uncontrollably for this being that was only with us a short time. Then we all cried and mourned together for little Penguin. He put her into my hands and I stroked her fur and let my tears roll onto her body. I spoke to her softly knowing she was gone. And then I found an old purple glass box and put some of her bedding in it. I lay her little body on the bedding and covered her in rose petals.

In our favorite corner of the yard, underneath a lilac bush, we laid her to rest. I collected more petals and split them between my husband and I (my daughter was too upset to take part). We covered her grave with loving vibrations and tears.

I had a very spiritual experience today with that little chicken. Holding her, I felt divinity. Both alive and when she had passed. Watching my husband grieve, and feeling his love and heartache, I experienced it again. Laying her to rest, I felt divinity all around us. And even now, it is still with me.

I wanted to just sit at her grave all day, but I couldn’t. I had to mother my beautiful weeping child, and get myself ready for work. So I did.

But the divine experience of it all… how beautiful to feel such a thing in the life and passing of our little chicken friend. Thank you, Penguin, for gracing us with your sweetness.

Rest in peace. 6/2/10 – 6/10/10

it is love

I contemplate the Divine on a fairly regular basis. I also experience him/her/it. Him/her/it is what brings me to my pen, later (which is now) to be shared via blog for your own contemplation. My definition of the Divine has evolved throughout the years, as I’m sure happens for many. At one point, it was very much about the Goddess. Participating in group ritual inevitably led to a calling of the dynamic duo. In the last year or so however, gender has slipped away.

I remember being a little girl and looking into the face of Jesus, a photograph in my mother’s house. I remember singing boisterously in church, hymns to God and his awesomeness. I am not sure if my Patriarchal childhood led me to seek out the Goddess. I resonate deeply with the concept of the triple Goddess. I celebrate the many faces of the goddess Hecate. Even now, I celebrate the feminine: I smile as I sit under her sacred yoni-ness to write these thoughts. Yes, there is something that still connects me to a divine feminine.

But when I call to the Divine, I call to Spirit. There is no separation of sexual illusions. When I sit here, even feeling the energy of this powerful feminine force of my apple tree, it is still the voice of Spirit that whispers to me and through me in the wind. It is harmony. It is balance. It is everything sacred contained in One, yet not contained at all.

It is love.

it is love

blog sharing

I’m posting a link to a fellow blogger’s post that I read recently. I really enjoyed this post. It resonated deep within me because I am so often trying to find my path and stay on it in this modern world. Her words spoke to that witch in me… the barefoot one wearing the robes and amber, standing in the forest glen under the dark sky, the shining moon…

Read it. You’ll understand.

Hecate: What I do

Thanks for sharing, sister.

a lil of this, a lil of that…

There is the scent of wild mint in the air. Thankfully my pungent friend grows like a weed without any assistance from me and my not so green thumb. It’s more like a black thumb, or by my daughter’s thought, red. Like blood. Because the poor lovely things die under my touch. She calls it murder.

Not this year though. This year my husband and I have a plan. We know it’s late in growing season already, but we’re looking towards summer veggies and top soil bag gardening. (Thank you Mother Earth News!) We are digging out one bed though. We have a good feeling about it. It’s our first attempt at really doing it well, and by the grace of the Goddess it shall be so.

Our greenhouse project is going well, though it’s been awhile since we’ve pounded a tire. We’ve both been incredibly busy, but we’ll be devoting the weekend to it. If you want to read more about the greenhouse project, visit my husband’s blog here. He hasn’t updated it in awhile, but you’ll get the gist. We’re pretty excited about it, as it’s just a small scale project for what we hope to turn into our home when we actually acquire mountain land. If you’re interested in Earthships (and you should be!), visit www.earthship.com and check out what that genius Michael Reynolds is doing out there. Also, put Garbage Warrior on your netflix list, because you know you have one.

diggin' out the site w/ a lil garden yoga

I’ve finally made a dent in my dress commission, so feel that I can put that aside at least until my client and I can schedule a fitting. My house has been completely neglected. So much for spring cleaning. How ’bout a summer cleanse instead? We’ll see. Procrastination central here. My studio closed so I also lost 2 classes in my weekly to~do list. You’d think that’d give me more time on my hands, yeah… no. There never seems to be quite enough of that.

My Yoni tree has lost her blossoms. Crap Crab apples will be coming in soon.

I believe we’re starting the second quarter of the moon today. The waxing 1/2 moon. I want to make sure we get our seeds planted before the moon is full. Like I said, we’re really trying to do it right this time.

I am so grateful to be married to my husband. That was a random thought stream, but it came to mind so there it is. I am honored every day that we walk side by side. I know that I am blessed.

I think I’ll do a tarot reading for my friend tonight. Emotion and instinct are heightened right now in the second quarter. Time to utilize mama moon’s mystery and magic.

As you may have guessed upon reading this post, my gemini mind is in overdrive today. One thought quickly making way for the next.

The lilacs are in bloom. 🙂