god is in the details.

We’ve fallen asleep at River’s End and lived in Pure Moments

Moments like these that tell the stories

Surrounded by walls of dancing shadows and light

Dancing quakers

Quakers dancing

God is in the Details

A rumble through the rocks and pounding what was before, pavement beneath us

Bequeathed to us

Breathed to us

Still I swat the bug drawing blood on my arm

He’ll not live to bite another day

Black coal stains the tracks that lead up to the mountain

Down below we hear the distant call of the fountain of youth

Of truth

Of a blissful time before when everything was just simpler

We are that much closer to finding it.

the road to home.

Our trip west was liberating in many ways. Everything seemed to come together to make it the perfect time to leave. Niko didn’t have work lined up for the week. I only work Sundays, and Daisy doesn’t start school until the end of August. What really seemed lucky was that my friend Christine just happened to be in town that week and is house/farm sitter extraordinaire. As all of you backyard farmers are aware~ it’s not so easy to pack up and leave when you have livestock to care for and gardens to tend.

The first few nights away were tricky. We were all getting used to close(r) proximity and false notions of what the trip was actually about. Daisy thought we were going camping. I knew we were looking at property but thought we were also having a bit of leisure time. So… I brought my banjo, my yoga mats, yarn. Funny. Like I’d have time anyway with the baby. But it turned out it was all business. And my extra baggage was SO in the way in our already tight space. (Sorry, honey!)

After mild frustration about many of these things, we all seemed to release our own emotional baggage and rally begin to settle into the flow of each other, the space, and the majesty  of the environment. Besides the onslaught of a billion man-eating mosquitoes in one spot, it was hard not to be swept up in the beauty of it all. We fell in love with the land again. Which is not to say we every actually fell out of love for it. But when you live in the city it’s hard not to let a thick outer skin collect. You have to slough off many layers to remember how to breathe fresh air again.

There is a great wild magic out there and you are God standing in the thick of it.

I did get to play my banjo once, and I laid out my mat a few times, but the trip was about finding our place. And I do believe we found it.

In Delta County there are no building codes. So we can build a sustainable and functional earth-ship or cob house without having to convince the powers that be that is in fact structurally sound. The surrounding areas are full of organic farming and a community that gives a damn. No longer would we be the eccentric neighbors with the cob greenhouse and the backyard chickens, but instead just another family milking their own goats. It’s exciting. The possibilities we found. This trip reminded us to dream again. We didn’t realize we’d ever stopped. But it’s easier then you think to get lost in the fog of bills and dirty dishes.

This trip did more for me than just letting me slough off some city dust. I came home lighter, I freed so much space in my heart. Everything is brighter and more beautiful. I smile more, and complain less. I have more love to give.

We bought a For Sale by Owner sign for the yard.

spring, balance & mirrored reflections

Oh joyous Spring! It has been the perfect weekend to celebrate the balance of the Equinox. The sun us shining brightly and there is a cool breeze blowing. After last night’s full moon, the wind seems ideal to blow away the last remnants of winter and stagnancy (even though here in Colorado winter sometimes lingers past May).

I don’t know about you, but I am most ready for these longer days of sunshine. The earth is reborn today and we can start to see it in the world around us. Maybe not necessarily in the earth herself unless you’re in a warmer climate, but notice the bird song and the soil starting to be worked by the gardeners in your area. There is more activity outside as we celebrate (consciously or unconsciously) this rebirth and growth.

I find myself reflecting on the beautiful balance of this day. So much in my life lately has felt topsy turvey. The last week has definitely brought about a feeling of something rising, culminating. Something that I’ve been desperately needing. It built up to the full moon last night, and now this morning I have such a sense of release. It’s time to begin again.

I’m pregnant by the way. 🙂 Almost 5 months. This pregnancy has definitely followed the seasons. Not in the conceive on Beltane deliver on Imbolc kind of way, but deeply in my body have I felt the Earth’s body, even if I didn’t realize it until now.

I conceived one month before the winter solstice, on a full moon, and come that solstice I was feeling the dark depths of my being. Knowing that there was growth happening, but still having to be in that darkness. “Babies develop in the darkness of the mother’s womb.” My body felt that depth with the weakness and nausea of the 1st trimester.

Come Imbolc, the nausea had started to fade but then the flu struck me hard. Yes, the sun is growing stronger, but it can certainly be one of the coldest months of the year. Imbolc is a time for initiation and can be both a commitment and a test. And oh, was I being tested.

All this time my body was continuing to support the growth, even through the difficult days and the struggle to persevere. And now the equinox has arrived, and I feel the balance outside and within. I am reminded that we are one and the same. When we pay attention, we see the reflection.

So happy Spring, everyone. Blessed Equinox. Reflect on the balance in your lives and on what you will choose to nurture in the days to come.

prayer for release

I performed a ritual at my yoga studio during the waxing quarter moon. The waxing moon benefits growth and increase but the purpose of my ritual was for clarification and peace.

My studio is in a state of transition as my body is in a state of transition as our life is in a state of transition. What I needed was a sense of peace to let go and give it up to Spirit. It as in decisions, worry, grief, etc. The moon happened to be waxing so I had to adjust my intent. My intention was an invitation to my purpose.

I wish I had some pictures to share, especially being that it’s been so long since I’ve posted a blog with any content. But my cameras broken :(. I might find some related images on the net to share.

My rituals are often much simpler than this one. For instance, I usually don’t even cast a circle. But I was following an outline by Diane Stein and so changed my format a bit. Variety is good for the soul.

The entire studio was purified with sage and cleared with a singing bowl. I set up a Labyrinth in the center of the room made of tea lights and lit these before I cast my circle. I used amber incense for casting, as amber is excellent for clarity. Circling the area 3x I directed the smoke from the incense first low, then waist-high, and finally above my head.

I cast this Circle, not for protection, as I know I am protected in this sacred space. I cast this Circle to contain and heighten the energy to focus my will and clarify my intention. I cast this Circle for purity of purpose. I cast this Circle as an offering to Spirit to hold the sacred energy of manifestation.

I set the incense on the altar and took up a bowl of water.

Sacred element of water, I call upon you and ask that you be present during this ritual to aid my magic with your purification. I seek your constant flow to balance emotion. I ask that you be here now.

I lit a floating candle on the water.

Transformational fire, I call upon you and ask that you be present during this ritual to aid my magic with your power. I seek your burning flame to cut through barriers that may be holding me back. I ask that you be here now.

I blew my breath lightly over them both.

Winds of change, I call upon you and ask that you be present during this ritual to aid my magic with your lightness of being. I seek your cool breeze as a reminder that this too shall pass. I ask that you be here now.

I sprinkled sand in the bowl.

Solid earth. I call upon you and ask that you be present during this ritual to aid my magic with your stability. I seek your strength to be prepared for whatever comes. I ask that you be here now.

There was no rhyme or reason for the order of my callings. I simply did what came to me at the time.

Calling on the maiden and the moon.

I invoke thee, Great Spirit, maiden goddess. I seek your innocence and your purity. I seek these tempered as they are with wisdom. I seek your action and your potential.

I call upon the powers of the waxing moon. That time of increase, creativity, and manifestation. I seek your increasing strength for the purpose of this ritual.

Even this miniature version holds such depth, don't you think?

I walked the Labyrinth as the main body of my ritual, having placed a picture of the full moon at the mouth, symbolizing the completion of the journey and the point of knowing. I sought for my peace by the rise of full moon. As I walked, I spoke these words:

As the moon waxes and continues to grow with light, so do I become clearer in thought and direction. As the moon continues to grow with light becoming round and full in its power, so is my spirit full with contentment and peace. The moon growing in its power is me growing in my power. The moon growing to completion is this process coming to completion. The moon growing to its fullest clarity is me growing to my fullest clarity. When the moon shines bright and full in the sky I will know the studios future and have complete clarity and peace.

At the end of my walk I performed a self blessing with rosewater, for self-love and compassion. I used the blessing from Stein’s book, Casting the Circle, with only a few changes and then used a slightly adapted chant for raising energy.

*New moon rising. Shining, shining. Growing, ripening. Magic is happening.

*On a side note, I think this could be a really powerful chant if sung in a group, with each participant singing different parts at the same time, as the chant grows in length.

I always ground in child’s pose as my root, hands, and third eye center all rest on the earth.

Maiden Spirit and waxing moon, I thank you for your presence in my ritual. I open a pathway for your release. Spirits of water, fire, air and earth, I thank you for your presence here and your aid in my magical work. I open a pathway for your release. My Circle is open. So mote it be.

I’m recording this after the event, of course. Tomorrow is the full moon, and quite the extraordinary one I’ve read. I’ve already felt since the ritual a release of sorts. Though still heavy in my heart, a sense of calm and letting go is underway.

With the equinox just the day following, perhaps all of this will clear the way for bright beginnings.

lessons in impermanence

As I write this, I am sitting with a castor oil compress on my chest.

At the beginning of last week, I wrote down affirmations. Positive thoughts in the present tense that I would carry with me and repeat through the day. I am a firm believer in affirmations so please do not let my bizarre turn of events dissuade you from setting some of you own. It’s a good thing. It’s a great thing. Try it, you’ll see. The results can be astounding.

A couple examples for you from my own pen:

1. I am whole and healthy. My body, mind and spirit are free of dis-ease.

2. I am an able and confident yoga teacher. I tap intuitively to the knowledge and wisdom that already resides within me.

Alright, here’s the story.

Within an hour of writing these positive little jingles, I’m at work, I do a normal move/turn/shift. Nothing out of the ordinary and “Oooh! Now that didn’t feel good.” It started as just a slight pinch in the center of my chest underneath my sternum followed by a bruised feeling on the outer bone. 3 days later after teaching 2 classes and attempting to attend a 3rd, I ended up spending the entire session in child’s pose (even that being uncomfortable), canceling my evening classes and being as still as possible throughout the weekend.

Come Monday (now 6 days later) knowing I could not cancel class or get out of my other job, I tried to take it as easy as possible. Mind you, the pain has continued to escalate. It is constant. It hurts to be still, let alone talk or even breathe. I am teaching by instruction only, no demonstrating. I am being mindful of my body’s movement with every step. What I need to be doing is resting, and nothing but. But as those of you with families, homes or jobs that require you to carry on, you’ll know why I cannot just rest. Oh how I want to. Luckily I have a fantastic support group at home (Thank you, beautiful family!) and they take excellent care of me. I am also grateful for my students that allow me to be completely imperfect.

Wow the lessons of impermanence.

I don’t know what I’ve done exactly. The castor oil packs are advice from a holistic body worker and if I am not healing within the next couple of days I’m going in for some touch therapy. Right now it feels as if bones are protruding from my chest, though there is no visible evidence that anything is wrong.

In the meantime, I’m treading carefully.

And I’ve still got those affirmations in my pocket.

invoke

What a glorious afternoon in Colorado. After record heats the last few days, I awoke to overcast skies and now enjoy mild sunshine with gentle breezes. Oh yes. Glorious indeed.

I wanted to share my morning class with you, as it has sent me smiling into the world and I’m sure will carry with me throughout my day. First off, to “invoke” via dictionary.com:

1. to call for with earnest desire; make supplication or pray for.

2. to call on (a deity, Muse, etc.), as in prayer or supplication.

3. to declare to be binding or in effect: to invoke the law; to invoke a veto.

4. to appeal to, as for confirmation.

5. to petition or call on for help or aid.

6. to call forth or upon (a spirit) by incantation.

7. to cause, call forth, or bring about.

For those of us familiar with magic, “invoke” is a familiar term, and something that we probably use somewhat regularly. But maybe for the everyday Jane, it could be a lot to take in. Yet, that is exactly what I asked of my students this morning. That they call to heart the word, and ask what it meant for them. I then read them the short definition as presented by good ol’ webster: to address or call upon in prayer. With that in mind, I expressed my desire as a teacher to share with them that our bodies are our prayers. Whether we hold religion, spirituality, or just a simple faith that we are alive on this Earth, we can all benefit from a moment of prayer, a moment of communion.

I expressed once how Shiva Rea brought me to this realization in my own practice, in my own body. This process changed my yoga forever.

So as we sat through our pranayama practice, as we experienced those first movements into our vinyasas, we prayed. We prayed with our bodies. And though some may not have gotten it, I think that as they continue with their practice, they will. Your yoga may start out as something physical. It may start out as something that you do because you have tight hamstrings, or tension in your shoulders. It is my belief, though not imposed, that through a regular asana practice you begin to discover the spirit of yoga. You begin to peel into the layers of your own divine nature.

When you start moving with prayerful awareness; slowly, subtlety, inch by inch… what will you discover? When you feel the ocean currents in your breath, when you reach up to greet the Sun and ground down to touch the Earth, what will you find hidden just beneath the surface?

Let me tell you a secret: You are Divine. Everything you do, every breath you take, is Sacred.

As witches, this is not so much a secret, is it… but we all need to be reminded sometime. I think coming to your mat is an excellent way to remember.

Blessed be, friends.

crafting collages

My favorite girl and I were having some mama/daughter time today and decided to do some collaging. We both decided that we officially LOVE collaging.

She had a binder that she’s been wanting to decorate, and I have a spiral bound notebook that I use for a book of shadows, not so much for a lack of a better option, just mostly because I’d rather mess up and scribble in something spiral bound over something leather bound. Whatever. I’m just like that. Everything I write in this one, will eventually be carried over to a heartier version. But I figured since we were tapping into our creative juju, what better canvas to play with then the plain ole grayish cover of my Book.

We went through some Yoga Journals, Body & Soul mags, old We’moons, and *Shape magazines before they hit the recycle bin. (Note* I do NOT recommend this magazine nor any other fitness magazine for that matter. I feel they are demeaning and depressing and all they do is tell you how you’re not skinny enough or not healthy enough. For some reason, they always end up in my p.o. box from a misguided subscription and I hold on to them long enough to see if they have any good recipes.)

We found a plethora of good stuff for collaging. Awesome pictures (especially from my old we’moons) and some inspiring words, quotes and poems. We had a lot of fun making them. Daze found a glue stick from younger school days and my husband gave me a roll of clear masking tape. Once we laid out our designs and glued them down, I put a layer of the tape on to protect the paper and give them a glossy effect.

Here’s the finished look for my Book. I’d say that’s way cooler than the plain ole gray notebook. Not that I have a before and after, but you get the picture 🙂

the big picture

Here are some detailed pics… what magical finds in the written word!

i was meant to be an old woman

witch power

hard times require furious dancing

And my darlin’ Daze, I hope she doesn’t mind me sharing, because she did such a beautiful job!

daisy's cover

her front & back

surrender

in the magic moment

calm & centered

I was rushing today.

I should have had plenty of time. But the ornery teenager that wouldn’t answer her cell phone (same said child that I sing praises of, yes.) and the fact that my favorite skirt got caught on the handle of the credenza as I was rushing by and therefore ripped a good portion of it all the way up my leg, rather cut the minutes down to zip. Having no time to cry like a baby, I merely gasped, frantic now, and ran to change. Said child would still not answer her phone. My stress level was on the edge of collapse. I was out of time. I hurried to my jewelry box, grabbed some amethyst earrings and an amethyst pendant and ran out the door.

I got a hold of the child, (who of course, feigned innocence ~ ‘what mom? the phone was in my back pocket, I didn’t hear it!’), made it to work only 2 minutes late due to my record setting race car driving skills, and texted my husband about my miserable afternoon. Then, I changed my earrings and switched out my pendant.

I felt the balancing effects immediately. Not like, oh yes! Bliss! but a soft sort of calm began to take over. So I took a deep breath and allowed the stone to work its magic.

I have always had an affinity for amethyst. And serendipitously so, it happens to be the stone I’m working with this week as part of my Path training. Perfectly fitted, as it’s a stone of receptivity and wisdom, and we just entered the 3rd quarter and a waning cycle of the moon.

Just holding an amethyst piece in my hand gives me a sense of peace and calm.

Other qualities of this wonderful crystal (by no means complete):

*powerful and protective

*guards against psychic attack~ transmutes negative energy to love

*high spiritual vibration

*enhances meditation/higher states of consciousness

*healer and cleanser

*opens intuition and enhances psychic gifts

*drives off insomnia and nightmares~good for prophetic dreams

Mostly when I think of amethyst I think of balance. Balance of the mind, body and spirit. So any time you feel unsettled emotionally or mentally, wear or carry an amethyst (preferably cleansed and charged). This also applies for physical conditions such as headaches, tension, and so many other physical ailments that occur when the body is out of balance. Of course, always trust your intuition (and your doctor if that’s your thing). I am not prescribing or diagnosing here. Just sharing my thoughts. Take them as you will.

On a different note, I did not hold ritual last night on the moon. I did not even go outside to see her. My husband came home from being away for a couple of days and I was distracted. Remembering later on as I lay in bed, I connected to her energies through time and space letting any guilt slip away for not celebrating in some physical way. Visiting a kindred soul’s blog0sphere, I was inspired by her simple yet beautiful post, which allowed me to connect with mama moon yet again. Thanks, M.

of babies and blunders

Of babies…

children = love

We celebrated Litha today with my friend Jen’s circle. It was a quaint little gathering, more children than adults. It got me dreaming about  my own little one running around. By the time there is once again a seed in my belly all these lil ones could be Daisy’s age. No… I’d say in the next two years we’ll be pregnant. My husband is finally confident with the idea. Beautiful man. He’s already such a good daddy. I’ve really latched on to the idea of making babies with him.

Of circle blunders…

the elements

I was asked last minute to call a corner and Jen knowing my directional issues allowed me to have my choice of South or West, so I stood west and called water. All was well through ritual. During closing I was in the spirit of the process I guess, and so had a little blunder. We were moving widdershins releasing the elements and after earth was dismissed, I began my farewell ~ only it wasn’t my turn. Though I don’t embarrass easily I still felt lightly pink in the cheeks My sweet Laurabell probably thought I was talking over her when really I was just moving in my traditional direction. Whoops.