31 and 13

Tomorrow is my birthday. I’ll be 31. I came to work today with thoughts in mind to journal about soul searching kind of stuff, you know.

It is still that… but deeper now. Deeper than soul searching? Well, sorta.

My daughter called me. She got her cycle.

And now the tears come as I write the words. They didn’t come as she spoke the words, for then I was trying to hold it together enough to make sure she was okay, that she had what she needed, and to accept the fact that I was at work, not at home where I could hug her. Oh my sweet little baby. Starting the maiden voyage.

Last night around midnight, she called me into her room with a worried tone. Instantly I thought period. When I got there she was crying, way overtired. A spider on her wall.

What is it that grandmother spider teaches us about the web of life?

And today, today she bleeds. Just over 2 months into her 13th year as my daughter.

Everything happens in its own perfect timing, yes? Yes.

I came to work today with a task in mind of setting intentions for a spiritual journey. Developing a course for my own growth to cover a years time. I claim no title for my spiritual path. None but Witch. I claim no god. None but Spirit, which encompasses all. So it is difficult for me to follow specific books that fall in similar lines. I work with bits and pieces. So I guess it makes the most sense to create my own outline. What I want is structure. Something I can follow.

My gemini nature has been fed well lately. I’ve been incredibly busy with work. Work being the retail store, yoga classes, and custom made fairy tale. I do best with multiple functions. So can I create a structured spiritual quest for myself? Lessons and goals? Can I travel my Path with more attention and intention.

Well, there’s only one way to find out. And that’s to just do it.

My idea is to set up a schedule for myself, to be traveled with over the course of a years time. I will have weekly goals, biweekly goals, and monthly goals. And I don’t know if goals is the right word to use, nor is tasks. Hmm… lessons, events, assignments, journeys, steps? Footsteps. Footsteps? I like it.

Footsteps to Cobblestones to Landmarks, traveling the Path toward the wise woman and witch that I long to be.

So what do I want? And what are the steps that will take me there?

I will write what it is that I want, as if I already am. And in most cases, I am already this thing. But I want to do it better, with greater intention, love and wisdom.

1. I am a healer and nurturer. A wise woman with many sources for her craft. I heal with hands, with herbs, with stones, with essence and magic. I have great knowledge for these things.

2. I am a mother and wife. I share divinity and wisdom with my child and partner and therefore help them see there own divinity and wisdom. It is important for them to know how much I love them, without question.

3. I am an artist, and the art that I create inspires me and reminds me of my Path.

4. I am a yogini. It is a step on my Path to magic and divinity.

5. I am a teacher and that which I teach flows out naturally to those that seek what I have to offer.

6. I am a Priestess. I am a vessel of the Divine.

So in the moment, these are the thoughts that come to me, and these are some of the things I need to program in.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Friday is a waxing 1/2 moon, and the Solstice is just around the corner on the 21st. I am 31 years old and my 13 year old daughter just got her moon cycle.

The universal timing could not be more perfect, I’m sure.

mother and moon maiden on the eve of my birthday

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