embracing the goddess within…

She makes me feel alive.

She reminds me where I’ve come from.

Yesterday, a friend of mine came by the house to deliver my keys. Kim and I are incredibly different. The similarities that we do have are that we’re both Gemini’s and Vata’s, and we both teach yoga. Other than that, we differ immensely. It’s good though. She highlights the more airy qualities of gemini, where as I tend to be rooted deep and grounded. Sometimes she can be a bit much and I’m sure she might feel the same of me. One things we’re both good at though, is reminding the other of their worth. She has a better grasp of her own. I vary, most of the time not recognizing my worth even when others do.

So anyway, she came over yesterday to return my house keys. She house/kitty sat for us while we were in FL. We got into a discussion (as we generally do) about life, freedom, and purpose. I’m looking for a job right now. Something to pay the bills. Though I would like this job to be something that also feeds my soul, I am to the point where I cannot be picky. Yes, I teach yoga. I also have a number of little things in the way of crafting that I do for extra cash. But the time for ‘extra’ cash is over, and though I do love to teach yoga, I am barely breaking even right now and to be quite honest, I’m losing my love for the innocence of what used to be in my practice. For more on this subject, visit my Yoga blog.

So… getting back to the original inspiration behind this post, I told her about my newest entrepreneur idea, and that of Custom Made Fairy Tale. She thought it was amazing and perfectly suited to me. I have my first design job soon, (actually meeting with my client tomorrow) and this has sent me into a not so welcome fear fest. Because that’s what I do. I have these amazing ideas (yes, I’m giving myself some props here :)) and then I go into the lame state of being afraid that I’m really not good enough. Seriously. I get on my own nerves sometimes. And Kim, knowing this about me, proceeds to remind me what an amazing earth mama and authentic person I am. She’s not doing it to feed my ego. She truly believes these things about me.

And I know that they’re true.

Sometimes we just need to be reminded. I know that I am worth it. I know that I have this brilliant and dynamic Goddess/muse nature inside of me that desperately wants to live on the outside of my skin all the time.

As far as the job goes, I plan on running with Fairy Tale. But I still need to find work elsewhere until it becomes financially supporting. I’ve put my feelers out, and am willing to stop teaching if I can’t find something that works with my yoga schedule (much to the chagrin of many of my students). I think though, the best thing for me is to find a multitude of part-time jobs that fit with each other time wise. That might help to serve my gemini nature. It might also help to serve my constantly changing mind and perhaps guide me in a direction of career. Who knows.

What is known however, is that I am this beautiful earth mama. I am a goddess. And I am whole. No matter what.