clara’s story.

The Conception and Pregnancy

Taken on my due date, December 6th, 12 days before she came earthside. Unfortunately this is the last belly picture. Everything happened so quickly that photos were forgotten.

Taken on my due date, December 6th, 12 days before she came earthside. Unfortunately this is the last belly picture. Everything happened so quickly that photos were forgotten.

I set the intention for this pregnancy in January surrounded by a group of women that exuded the feminine divine. I was pregnant mid March. The nausea started and didn’t stop for the entire 1st trimester, all day all night. It was havoc on my household. Everyone suffered. After that I got a month long sinus infection that was taken to pneumonia status. It seemed my health would never return. But it did eventually and I had a decent 6th and 7th month. The 8th month however was brutal. I got sick again, was not gaining weight and there was talk of c-sections for the babies safety. I put out gobs of prayer requests, set up an altar at home for the baby and did everything within my power to take care of myself. I prayed that I would go past my due date when it seemed that all odds were against it. The doctor that my midwife sent me to said I would never make it to my due date and if she were me she would just have a c-section. My midwife, upon hearing of my determination to have my baby at home no matter what, gave me a wincing face and would not share my faith in positive thinking.

Even through this crazy chaos, I was so grateful for this life inside me.

Blessedly I have an amazing husband and a group of phenomenal friends and family that all shared my faith.

I was set to defy my doctor and midwife of their reasoning and put myself into the hands of Spirit. I had daily conversations with the baby asking him/her to hang out until we were both ready for the healthiest birth. My due date came and went and I slowly started to feel better and more positive. I felt ready. I was 12 days late.

The Birth Day

The previous day (Wednesday) I’d been having lower back pain for a large portion of the day. I told Niko that I felt positive we would go into labor the next day, Thursday. Thursday dawned well after having mild contractions all night around 45 minutes apart. I felt good. I felt great actually. Daisy wanted to stay home but I told her no. I’d call her if things got serious.

My midwife called me early morning to see how I was doing and I told her about the contractions, that they were still far apart but I felt positive. She then proceeded to tell me if I didn’t have the baby by my 2 week late date (Saturday) she was required by law to send me to the hospital for care, and that we had to schedule a diagnostic ultrasound immediately because again it was required by law and if they deemed the baby less than 100% passing on their “test” they would send me in for induction immediately even if we hadn’t hit that 14 days. I told her my baby was fine. I was fine. I wasn’t comfortable going for the ultrasound but she said there was no choice. She then proceeded to tell me that her most recent client went 2 weeks over, failed the diagnostic, was induced at the hospital and after a horrendous labor had to have a c-section.

Yes. That is how she claimed my lovely morning and relaxed peace of mind. And I let her.

When I hung up the phone with her I was in tears. A complete basket case. My husband was amazing, as usual. He did what he could to calm me down. Told me we’d fire the midwife if necessary and that everything would be ok. We talked about the repercussions of everything and decided to just be in the moment as much as possible. At that point my contractions had stopped. Completely. Thank you, dear Midwife. I’d just read not hours before about trying to stay as relaxed as possible when contractions began to help along labor. I’d been spun in the complete opposite direction.

I sent out prayer/magic requests for the second time and asked Niko if we could go for a walk. So we put Leelu in her stroller and walked for more than an hour. It felt good and began to relax me again. The contractions returned 45 minutes apart. When we returned from our walk my friend Laura came over with some essential oils, a talisman, and love. She saged me and we meditated on some childbirth verses for awhile. Then she told me that she felt I should eat something comforting. That my body wanted to be fed something decadent. So she went and got me a slice of heavenly chocolate cheesecake from our neighborhood health food store. She had no idea that I’d been on a crazy strict diet for the last month plus of no chocolate or sugar, among other things and that cheesecake was probably JUST what my body was asking for. After she left it was around 2:30. I allowed time for some intimacy with my beloved, for the sake of ripening my cervix. (tmi? I’m all for full disclosure.) I was determined. Contractions were still 45 minutes apart.

He left for the store around 3:15 and called my sister to tell her where we were with everything because she was to be present for the birth. He told her it would probably still be hours (because that’s what I told him). My guestimate was 8ish. I hadn’t called my midwife back at that point because I was still 45 minutes apart and was feeling good again. I didn’t want to jinx it. Leelu was napping and Daisy got home a little after 3:30. I was in bed and we talked about our day. She started timing my contractions around 3:45 or so. At that point they started speeding up. Dramatically. I still felt it would be awhile though. I did the dishes, talked about showering and vacuuming, but when Niko got home I told him there would be no time to set up the birthing pool and he needed to call the midwife because my contractions were less than 5 minutes apart. THAT fast. It was somewhere around 4:20… My sister arrived and I was in the bathroom. I had her lay down a shower curtain on the living room rug and top it with a soft blanket. I was down to less than 2 minutes apart.

A very dark photo, taken from my phone. There are no others to show the magic we experienced. But that's ok. They are ingrained in our hearts.

A very dark photo, taken from my phone. There are no others to show the magic we experienced. But that’s ok. They are ingrained in our hearts.

Daisy took Leelu to our neighbors house (I’d given Leelu the option of staying) and when Daisy came back I was on all fours having decently wicked contractions. I felt I needed to push and did. I told Niko to take my pants off (yes, I still had them on. I could only think so far ahead 🙂 ) and look to see what was going on. My sister looked and saw the baby’s head crowning. With the next contraction I pushed her head out and Carrie reached in to help me deliver the rest of her. All in one single one minute long contraction. She was so ready. She was born into my sister and husband’s arms around 4:40 (no one thought to look at a watch) with my little sister and oldest daughter present. She was perfect and it was out of control magical. The midwife showed up about 15 minutes later and delivered the placenta and took care of the rest of the story 🙂 She and the doula stayed for the next couple hours and I was glad when she was gone. The pregnancy had been difficult. The worry and stress probably more than I’ve ever experienced, But the birth was perfect and our little Clara Magdalene is here, 7 lbs, 7 ozs. She latched onto my breast beautifully and slept most of her first night in the world, giving her mommy more sleep than I’ve gotten in a long time.

This girl is a remarkable piece of a Divine Plan. Thank you to everyone that played a part in the magic.

My 3 girls <3

My 3 girls ❤

The day after...

The day after…

2 blessed weeks old

2 blessed weeks old


6 thoughts on “clara’s story.

  1. I almost had to take a break reading this! My eyes teary, my strong thoughts about your midwife, your simplistic determination. This is a beautiful story and I’m so happy you shared with us. A new soul enters the world and will be graced with sunshine, Moon light and so much love. Congratulations on your new phase. Love love endless love!

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