It has been 3 quarters since I’ve written in this blog, since Samhain. This entry is mostly a scattered array of thoughts.
Thought 1 ~I’ve recently added some spiritual structure to my life by way of the Red Moon Mystery School. For those of you that know me (or even read this blog every now and then) you are probably aware of my difficulties with authorities, hierarchies, strict religious how-to’s, and rules in general. However, this particular seed was planted a while ago with a glimpse of the name which instantly attracted me ( having a high devotion to women’s blood mysteries) A fellow goddess and reader asked if I was already an initiate of the school because she found much of what I wrote about to have a similar style to the Path. I was not, and that was my first introduction. As fate sometimes works though, it turns out I was already an admirer of the woman’s work through her own blog. It still took me a while to sign on as I am a stubborn advocate of “Please don’t tell me what to do/label to call myself, thank you very much.” The choice was easy really, as communication with this woman was wonderful, and I felt called.
I happened to have the money at the time (which doesn’t happen very often) and am a firm believer in that exchange of energy for a teachings worth. I am entering into my 3rd week now and am enjoying it very much. I am exploring 3 new books that I’ve never read, which is always fun. And while much of the work so far is familiar and repetitive the key for me is the structure and discipline. Neither of which means I am following someone else’s rules (blah blah blah), but instead opening the exploration of my own in a specific and dedicated way. Something I need right now.
Thought 2~ We have 3 layers out of 5 now, with 2 of them just recently starting. Benny, our runt, was the first one to start. She made the sweetest and tiniest eggs I’ve ever seen. It took us about 15 days to fill a one dozen carton. We did not eat any until the carton was full and it was a very joyful and gracious experience. These girls are family, now becoming much friendlier since readying to lay. Their squatting actions are adorable and they actually allow us to pet them now. They hang out together and squawk for one another if they get separated. They flock to our voices when we’re outside, hoping for something yummy to eat. I am often reminded of Cinderella as she goes to feed the chickens as part of her morning chores. I feel blessed to have this experience. I am grateful for my amazing husband as he deals with all the dirty work of raising them. I just get to sit back and enjoy their presence and now their eggs, with the occasional bitch session about the monumental amount of poo everywhere. Really. Everywhere. There is no sacred space outside anymore. That is, unless you don’t mind stepping in chicken poo.
Thought 3~ Speaking of my phenomenal husband, his birthday is coming up on the 9th and I’ve no idea what to do for him yet.
Thought 4~ Pure exhaustion. I feel it sometimes. I’m overwhelmed by it. I’m grateful for it. I cannot complain. I’m blessed to have a job. I’m blessed to have a yoga studio. I’m blessed to be a teacher and a mother and a wife. I’m blessed to have a home that needs cleaning, food that needs cooking, bills that need paying. Tasks. So many endless tasks. I’m grateful for those too. I’m blessed to have family and friends and students that love me, need me, want me. And I’m blessed with the energy (most of the time) to be able to satisfy them (most of the time). And I’m also grateful for knowing when to say no.
Thought 5~ Babies. Enough said. For now.
Oh blessed Mother, keep my feet firm on this Earth. Ground me deep and rise me up. Allow me to always experience this gratitude with every breath.
So mote it be.